We've now been halfway around the sun together. Can you believe it? I'll be honest, I'm writing these updates more for me than for you, but I hope you get something out of them, too, even if it's just a little smile at the sight of my gorgeous boy's face (yes, I am biased, why do you ask?).
As always, six months is my new favourite age. Benjamin is a total dreamboat, full of smiles and giggles. He is so very chilled out, and so very tall (from my calculations, he is almost off the chart) - both of which he gets from his father. He scrunches up his shoulders in the sweetest way when he laughs, and will give you the biggest smile before turning his face away as if he's shy. He's started to have 'favourite' toys and needs far more entertaining - which is in equal parts a lot of fun and completely exhausting when you're flying solo. We're also getting started on weaning, which is in equal parts a lot of fun, anxiety-inducing and completely messy.
There are the more difficult times, of course. The nights where he wakes up screaming every half hour, for example. I know a lot of would-be parents worry about the sleep deprivation but we have generally been lucky, so far. It has not been as bad as people told us, but some nights are very, very long. Whilst you worry about coping with your own tiredness before you become a parent, when the time comes you are torn between that frustration of not having enough sleep yourself, and the absolute heart-break of seeing your baby upset or in distress. Parenthood is wild, for so many reasons.
Everything is how I imagined it. Nothing is how I imagined it. He surprises me everyday. I have come to realise maybe my most important lesson this month; Benjamin is in charge and I am very much just along for the ride. He is just doing his thing, and I am a grateful, tired, loving witness right now. Going with the flow is the very best thing I can do for both of us, but it is not something that comes naturally to me. Ben is teaching me. He's a good sport like that.
So, six months. I am utterly in love. I feel like we've got a good groove together and I am trying to enjoy that as much as possible before he goes to nursery in March. I know that in parenthood, as in life more generally, every time you think you've got a handle on things, the rug is pulled out from underneath you and I think that the transition to nursery is going to be one of our biggest challenges so far.