This time last week I turned 25. I was too sick to celebrate on the day, but I'm not one for big birthday celebrations anyway. It feels like 25 should be meaningful, though. A quarter of a century. That is a substantial amount of time to live on this planet. Apparently there is such a thing as a quarter life crisis. I don't feel like I'm in crisis though. I feel pretty content. Those 25 years have been good, overall. Whilst it's a little depressing to note that if I were to develop an angelic singing voice overnight, I would now be classed in the 'Over 25s' category on X Factor and I am no longer eligible for a Young Person's Railcard, I am okay with being closer to 30 than 20.
It is trite to say that I have changed so much over the past 25 years. From nothing to everything I am. How weird is it to think about that? But it is also true that I have changed so much over the past 5 years. Haven't we all? In that time I have finished two degrees, moved across the country, had 4 different jobs, got engaged, got a cat, watched my parents divorce and remarry other people, fell out with friends, made new ones, learnt to bake, learnt to knit, learnt to use the bus (true story), passed my driving test, made the switch to an iPhone, travelled a bit, read hundreds of books, watched all of Breaking Bad (major), started this blog, and so much more. I have laughed and cried and celebrated and despaired and procrastinated and ruminated and there is still so much left to come.
That's not to say that my lack of crisis is because I have it all figured out. I feel like I've got some stuff figured out. I know how to pay my bills on time and how to bake a decent loaf of banana bread. I can do laundry without shrinking things, most of the time. I can keep myself and my cat alive. But there are other, bigger things, that I don't think I'll ever have figured out. I don't think I'll ever know what I *really* want to do with my life; there are just so many options and it feels a shame to pick just one. I can't map out some big future plan, because I think the past five years has proved that I have no idea what is around the corner or what I will want. For someone who is an obsessive list-maker and planner, that is a little bit scary, but I think I'm becoming okay with it. Things are pretty good right now. I'm pretty good right now. If I can keep that up for another 25 years, I'll be happy.